Julian McJab : Laaadies and Gentlemen, this is Julian McJab, welcome in the late Lady B's Estate for this fourteenth match of the season. Tonight's verbal-boxing fight will oppose, in the RED corner, Mrs Jerviiiiis ! Yes, as in "The estate's House-keeper". That very Jervis will confront, in the BLUE corner, Mister B himself !
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Master of this domain himself honours us with his presence in this match !
Just let me remind you that the stakes are hiiiigh tonight !
Mr.B. is here to crush Pamela's Reputation and Virtue, while trying to probe the extent of Mrs. Jervis awareness of the situation at the estate... Mrs Jervis will have the difficult task of protecting Pamela's Honour without letting appear that she knows what Mr. B. did to her... She can lever on Mr. B's impossibility to reveal what he's been up for... but will that be enough ?
We let this story's details to the tabloids, let's get to the action...
And the verbal fight starts NOW !
Mr. B. : Well, Mrs. Jervis, I know Pamela has your good word; but do you think her of any use in the family?
Mrs. Jervis : She is one of the most virtuous and industrious young creatures that ever I knew.
JMcJ : Mister B throws a classic start, a short feint, parried by a defense probably lacking creativity, but completely efficient... unless...
Mr. B. : Why that word virtuous, I pray you? Was there any reason to suppose her otherwise? Or has anybody taken it into his head to try her?--
JMcJ : Just as I feared ! Here we go ! Mr B. throws a sudden attack through Mrs. Jervis's flaw in defense...
Mrs. Jervis : I wonder, sir, you ask such a question! Who dare offer any thing to her in such an orderly and well-governed house as yours, and under a master of so good a character
for virtue and honour?
JMcJ : Oh man ! Jervis seems to parry painfully but she counterattacks ! See how she flatters her Master --
Mr. B. : Your servant, Mrs. Jervis, for your good opinion. But pray, if any body did, do you think Pamela would let you know it?
JMcJ : Mr. B. is completely fair-play on that one, he lets it pass, it honours him totally... Yet he doesn't let Mrs. Jervis much time before he comes back with an innocent looking question... He disguised a badass blow in a seemingly harmless feint !
Mrs. Jervis : Why, sir, said she, she is a poor innocent young creature, and I believe has so much confidence in me, that she would take my advice as soon as she would her mother's.
JMcJ : Awww, Mrs Jervis falls in the trap, victim of her own honesty...
Mr. B. : Innocent! again, and virtuous, I warrant! Well, Mrs. Jervis, you abound with your epithets; but I take her to be an artful young baggage; and had I a young handsome butler or steward, she'd soon make her market of one of them, if she thought it worth while to snap at him for a husband.
JMcJ : No way ! She was actually taunting Mr. B. with her on-the-fly compliments to Ms. Pamela ! He starts to look angry... making straight accusatory blows towards Mrs. Jervis's protégé !
Mrs. Jervis : Alack-a-day, sir, it is early days with Pamela; and she does not yet think of a husband, I dare say: and your steward and butler are both men in years, and think nothing of the matter. No, if they were younger, they'd have more wit than to think of such a girl;
JMcJ : Look ! Look ! See ? She counterattacked as directly as he striked ! She implies he's witless and keeps Ms. Pamela protected far behind her guard !
Mr. B. : I'll tell you my mind of her, Mrs. Jervis: I don't think this same favourite of yours so very artless a girl as you imagine.
JMcJ : B takes the blow, and insists on his direct assaults to Ms. Pamela's reputation... Mrs. Jervis is taking the advantage !
Mrs. Jervis : I am not to dispute with your honour, but I dare say, if the men will let her alone, she'll never trouble herself about them.
JMcJ : Good LORD ! She put herself out of range by highlighting her humility, still in the process she manages to hit one more time with a superb innuendo -
Mr. B. : Why, Mrs. Jervis, are there any men that will not let her alone, that you know of?
JMcJ : But he's a cunning fighter, he gets closer and strikes back in a heartbeat ! Will Mrs. Jervis be able to keep her knowledge obfuscated ?!
Mrs. Jervis : No, indeed, sir, she keeps herself so much to herself, and yet behaves so prudently, that they all esteem her, and shew her as great a respect as if she was a gentlewoman born.
JMcJ : Quite an answer but... she opens her guard...
Mr. B. : Ay, that's her art, that I was speaking of: but, let me tell you, the girl has vanity and conceit, and pride too, or I am mistaken; and, perhaps, I could give you an instance of it.
JMcJ : Aye, Mr. B. took advantage of it, rushing in the breach, he attacks on Pamela's pride... The situation reversed, Mrs. Jervis is on a less solid ground she was a minute ago !!!
Mrs. Jervis : Sir, said she, you can see farther than such a poor silly woman as I am; but I never saw any thing but innocence in her--
Mr. B. : And virtue too, I'll warrant ye! said he. But suppose I could give you an instance, where she has talked a little too freely of the kindnesses that have been shewn her from a certain
quarter; and has had the vanity to impute a few kind words, uttered in mere compassion to her youth and circumstances, into a design upon her, and even dared to make free with names that she ought never to mention but with reverence and gratitude; what would you say to that?--
JMcJ : It was a trap ! Mr B. was awaiting such a reaction, the classic combination "humility + compliments", but it seems it's been used one time too many ! And B comes up with a heavy blow... But is it as heavy as it looks... No, there was too much of a supposition, here ! Mrs Jervis is on her knees, but maybe she'll rise up again...
Mrs. Jervis : Say, sir! I cannot tell what to say. But I hope Pamela incapable of such
ingratitude.
JMcJ : She hides again behind honest disarray... She fiercely guards Pamela's honour and reputation...
Mr. B. : Well, no more of this silly girl, says he; you may only advise her, as you are her friend, not to give herself too much licence upon the favours she meets with; and if she stays here, that she will not write the affairs of my family purely for an exercise to her pen, and her invention. I tell you she is a subtle, artful gipsy, and time will shew it you.
JMcJ : What ? What ?! Mr. B. is calling it DRAW ! He seemed to change the subject, which would have made him retreat from the ring, thus lose the match, but he finally makes an unexpected comeback right before crossing the line, with a vague threat to which Mrs. B. can't answer... Will the jury call it a draw or give victory to Mr. B. ? Ah, they seem not to be able to make a call... draw, victory, draw.... YES ! It's a DRAW ! Mr. B. didn't confess what he did but neither did Mrs Jervis confess what she knew !
What ?! The Jury finally gives victory to Mr. B. for he learnt what he wanted through Mrs Jervis's revelation of Pamela's trust into her... That's a victory on the edge, but a vistory anyway.
Ladies and Gentlemen, that was the helluva confrontation, but there's much more to come, season's just beginning !
(original text adapted from Samuel Richardson's Pamela or virtue rewarded, letter XIV)
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